First Day Of school for Poppers!! Yay!!!

I thought today was going to be a hard day. last night I was sure of it! The day That Hunter passed away and I told Cole that Hunter went to heaven.. UGH!! the first thing Cole said to me was" well who is going to get me from class and take me to my class for school now"?? ( little did he know Hunter was off to junior high this year) but his big brother was his protector,hero,best friend etc.
Hunter and Cole have almost all there lives shared a room and when they didn't Cole would still have to sneak in Hunters room.  Hunter was always my early bird, Cole likes to sleep in so Hunter would get him up every morning for school.
I was nerves about that too!!
This morning was Cole's first day of school without his big brother, his first real big concern and he did it!
( with a little help from heaven ) I woke up to get him up and he was up and ready,had already made himself a waffle and was set!! ( except the hair and teeth thing ) but he did great. I'm so proud of the big steps he is making and growing up to be a strong little boy.. I love you Buddy!!! you are doing awesome!!!

first day at a new school and  3rd grade

Next big task is the bus..

A Quote I Love,Love,Love

Anyone can GIVE UP, it's the easiest thing  in the world to do.

But to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart,

that's true

STRENGTH....

Still missing you!! and always will!! xoxoxo

Car rides suck now!!

C... Cause I look back and see no Hunter in his spot. And I see Cole all  quiet and sad :(

A... All of us would talk in the car,we would talk about school, Hunter would talk about the cars we liked, what he was going to be when he got older.

R.. radio is playing his favorite songs and I can't hear him singing.

Oh man !! I do not love car rides right now...

Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming

 I have been having a really hard time lately with attention. I  have always wanted people to laugh at me cause I gotta admit that I can be pretty dang funny.. ;)  that is now gone, people would put me on the spot, I would get all red in my chest and then I would feel the pressure like make me laugh and then I could usually pull that off because I love to see people happy and smiling  the sound of laughter is my favorite sound. ( Hunter had the best laugh) . I now get looked at really weird kinda like I'm a puppy or  like I am on display., is she going to break down at any moment. I have never liked negative Attention on me,  I almost feel like I need to hug them and say "dude its gonna be OK".  I don't know its just weird..  I do not like it so much. I'm pretty sure it is just peoples way of having nothing to say there biggest fear for there children or anyone  I'm living it. 

 here's to you people..... This sucks !!!!!

I would not wish it upon anyone ever. But we can't change it.. We can only do better everyday to be strong for my, our Amazing HUNTER..

ps..

 I might just hug you if you look at me weird and I am so not a hugger!!! :)

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE